On the other hand, real-life dating had so far led me to a former frat boy who got jealous when a homeless man talked to me, a gay guy who was looking for a woman to bear his children, and a 40-something singer in a Rick James cover band who once pooped his pants on . Besides, someone to ice skate alongside in Bryant Park sounded nice. 10 are sleeping, 5 are flying, 4 are playing and 1 is reading this,” one of the first messages read.
So I logged onto Ok Cupid, uploaded some flattering photos, listed a bunch of pretentious favorite books and music, and waited. Within a day, I had received dozens of new communiques.
Of course, buffet-style dating strikes a lot of people as overly consumerist: You’re evaluating potential mates not based on any real-life connection, but on a set of characteristics they list on a website and a curated set of self-shots.
It can be limiting in that regard, but the little things can be significant.
I understand that mainstream pornography has led you to believe that any woman who says she’s bisexual is down to touch anyone’s genitals, anywhere, under any circumstances.
But since we don't live in an ideal online dating world, you need to be a bit of a sleuth. Because these are some of the signs that instantly let you know it should never, ever, ever happen. But at least you get a sense of the kind of person a potential mate can be when they put their most dateable face forward.In my two years on Ok Cupid, I’ve gone on a handful of dates and been treated to hundreds more hilarious, offensive and often bizarre messages.Most days, I would scroll through them for a minute or two, then get quickly overwhelmed and click “close tab.” For every 20 or 30 messages I received, I responded to maybe one.I soon found that online dating did not force me to be nice—actually, it required me to be mean.
“It’ll make you stop being such a judgmental bitch,” was how she put it.