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The tragedy is how unnecessary your choices have been.

There are women out there who aren't interested in monogamy, there are female cuckolds out there (cuckqueans) who want cheating husbands, and there are masochistic women (and men) out there who get off on the thought of being with a person who would like to crush them. We met in college and, except for a six-month break, we've been together ever since.

You say you love your wife, but you also say she'd be crushed—destroyed—if she discovered what you've been doing.But almost immediately, he began talking about how he wanted to hook up with others. I feel tremendous guilt for even thinking about splitting up, so I keep hoping we'll stumble on the thing that will work for us.I don't know what to say when he says I should be monogamous to him while he gets to hook up with others. Gay Marriage Having Crisis I've written about a few gay couples—and a few straight ones—where one half gets to hook up with others while the other half doesn't.But on the off chance it would crush your wife to be told everything, just tell her about Ms. After a few tense years, we started couples therapy.During therapy, my husband revealed that he was never in favor of the openness.

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