I had been single for so long, that I found it hard to shake off my own set ways.
There are plenty of single parents who use their kids to get out of almost every obligation. exercise, dating, taking responsibility for their own actions.
For me the key thing about building a relationship with his kids was to let things develop slowly and organically, like any relationship and not try to force or rush things. Don’t hold it against them and certainly don’t take it personally although of course it probably feels personal. Your relationship with them is already unique and special and you don’t need to force it to be something it isn’t. It’s not a relationship you get to experience very often and when you do, it’s a really special one.
It would be easy to sigh and wish they came without all the baggage. But for me, it’s his past that has made him more emotionally mature and a better communicator.
‘Divorce’ and ‘dad’ were two huge grown-up concepts for one single woman.
Even though I was 39, neither marriage nor motherhood had ever featured in my life and so I had no idea what to expect.
And I have been the dad who apologized for checking his phone when a text dinged while on a date.